As a member of the LGTBQ community, you contribute to Chicago. You know you are welcome in your community. Yet, you may face both subtle and blatant forms of prejudice in your workplace.

After you came out, you may have known that you would experience discrimination. This knowledge may not make the pain of exclusion any less sharp.

Your sexual identity cannot be a basis for discrimination

Under Illinois law, your sexual identity cannot be a basis for denying your civil rights.

While it has been slow going, members of the LGBTQA community are steadily gaining more and more rights like everyone else. While same-sex partnership is now legal throughout the nation, some legal issues are still quite difficult for same-sex couples to navigate. One of these issues is the process of child custody during a same-sex divorce.

The state of Illinois passed the Parentage Act in 2015 following the legalization of same-sex marriage in the state. This act provides a guideline on how child custody is handled during divorce. The act also includes language that suits same-sex partnerships.

According to the Parentage Act, a person is deemed to be a child's parent when:

Not only is the divorce process stressful on both spouses, but it may also have a significant impact on the children. Whilst the best interests of the children will always be at the heart of a parent's decisions, it is not always easy to know which route to take.

Fortunately, there are some ways to reduce the emotional toll that divorce can have on children. Outlined below are three ways to help children through the divorce procedure.

Communicate openly

Often, adults attempt to protect children by shielding them from the reasoning behind their divorce. Hiding facts about your divorce or being dishonest could negatively impact the child, and they may even blame themselves. Honest conversations that are age-appropriate could end up helping children to cope with the divorce process.

The love you have for your spouse is infinite, and now you want to share that love with a person that both of you can raise and take care of. Although the possibility of adoption is open, you may want a child with your or your loved one's genetics. Fortunately, you can make your dreams of parenthood a reality with a surrogacy agreement in Illinois. However, there are important requirements you must comply with if you want to expand your family this way.

How surrogacy works

Good news: Illinois is one of the most surrogate-friendly states. If you decide to become a surrogate parent in Illinois, you can establish paternity before birth, set the terms of the pregnancy and get legal protection when the child is born. Same-sex couples and different-sex couples must follow the same steps to welcome a new child through surrogacy. The only difference is that same-sex couples must decide who will be genetically related to the child. However, that does not mean that everyone can become a surrogate parent.

Eligibility

The people who want to become surrogate parents must comply with certain requirements to set up the agreement. The woman who will bear the child has other requirements they also have to satisfy. A surrogacy agreement would be valid and enforceable only if those involved are eligible, which means that:

If you're going through a divorce as a parent, you should aim to reduce conflict as much as you can. At least attempt to be civil with your ex as you sort things out.

This may not feel fair. Maybe they were unfaithful to the marriage, and you feel like your outrage is justified. But it is best for the children.

The problem is that a high-conflict divorce can be very hard on them. It's stressful. It takes a long time. Some parents use their kids as pawns. All of this makes it harder for children to adjust, and it can make them feel like the divorce is their fault. Even if your feelings are justified, if you're able to keep them to yourself, know that you are doing what is best for your children, even though it's harder for you.